| Hippo | Grizzly Bear |
|---|---|
|
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| Wins 98.60% of 1k fights | Wins 1.40% of 1k fights |
In this week's Fantasy Brawl we're being treated to an interesting showdown between the meanest vegetarian around, the Hippo, and one of the most violent creatures in the forest, the Grizzly Bear. Both creatures are nearly unchallenged in their respective native domains, but what happens when they lock horns in the Fantasy Brawls battle simulator? We'll first start by analyzing the size of each of these gargantuan creatures to see who gains the first advantage.
In terms of height, grizzly bears are much taller, with some standing a staggering 9 feet tall. Hippos are much shorter and unable to stand on their hind legs, so the highest in the air they can ever hope to reach is a respectable 5 feet. This makes the grizzly the better pick for a game of basketball, but that's not the sport we're into here at Fantasy Brawls.
Grizzlies are certainly taller, but the mass of a fully grown hippo is the stuff of legend. A male adult hippo can be as long as 16 feet and tip the scales at over 5,000 pounds. Grizzlies aren't lightweights, but their maximum 800–1,000 pound weight makes them much smaller than hippos. So, without question, the hippo is much larger than the grizzly.
But as we’ve learned in other bouts, size isn't everything in a fight. For example, a whale shark is much larger than a Great White Shark, but the latter demolishes the former in a one vs. one bout. For our next category, we'll examine both animals' strengths to find out who is stronger.
Grizzlies and hippos are built different, thus comparing their strength isn't exactly apples to apples. However, we can compare areas they have in common, like the ability to bite. Grizzlies have an impressive 975 PSI bite force, enabling them to crush bone and nearly anything else they get their mouths around. Hippos, however, sport a whopping 1,800 PSI bite force, completely outclassing the bear.
Grizzlies have other tools, like the ability to grapple and swipe strong enough to break a deer's back. Its strength is the stuff of nightmares, but the hippo — if it’s angry enough — can literally chomp a crocodile in half. Bears are strong, but God gave hippos anime protagonist levels of strength, so the edge in the power department goes to the monster vegan. All isn't lost just yet for Yogi — the speed comparison is next.
Hippos are big and chunky, but surprisingly fast. On land, they can hit speeds of up to 25 mph in short bursts. This is scary fast for a heavyweight, but it's too slow to compete with the grizzly, who can run at over 35 mph. They can also maintain this speed for longer than hippos, giving them an advantage in stamina as well.
The winner in the speed category is the Grizzly Bear. Let's see if the grizzly can carry that momentum over into our next category — weapons.
Grizzlies have powerful, sharp claws, massive muscles, and a wide range of attacking options. They can rear up on their hind legs for powerful swipes or go quadrupedal for powerful, full-body charges. These tools are enough to make it a top-tier threat in its homeland... but not when hippos are in town.
Though grizzlies have a more versatile set of tools, hippos have a couple that inflict legendary amounts of damage. Jaws that snap crocs in half and tusks up to 18 inches long put this animal in my top 5 for greatest animal weaponry. Grizzlies simply cannot match the damage output hippos have, so the advantage goes back to them. Our final category is aggression — which can make a world of difference in a battle.
If you come across a mother grizzly and her cubs, be prepared for a violent battle. Even males can be very territorial, especially if you spook them or come in between them and their dinner. But these creatures largely try to avoid humans and unnecessary conflict. This is evident in the comparatively low amount of human fatalities each year.
These animals are scary, but only situationally aggressive. Hippos, however, will fight and kill at any time with little to no provocation. Wandering into a hippo's domain is a literal death sentence. These inherently aggressive beasts chase boats, flip canoes, and maul anything that gets within biting distance.
Scientists theorize that hippos are so aggressive because 1. they don't have much to fear, enabling extreme boldness, and 2. dominating a stretch of river means access to females for life. But this doesn't entirely explain why this animal in particular is so much more aggressive than others. There are a number of apex animals who love to breed but don't have sociopathic tendencies.
Hippos are just hardwired for aggression from birth, which gives them the edge in the final comparison before the showdown.
In our battle scenario, a thirsty grizzly bear wanders to a river for a drink. Unfortunately for it, this is where a big, mean male hippo is patrolling. The grizzly takes notice of the monster and immediately gets defensive. Not missing a beat, the hippo charges at the intruder, but the grizzly is more agile and is able to land some nasty swipes on the hippo's back.
This hurts, but is not enough to be fatal given the hippo's thick hide. The bear attempts to bite the neck of the hippo, but due to the girth, is only able to tear out a chunk of flesh. The hippo, now even more angry, charges with its mouth wide open, digging its 18-inch tusks into the upper arm of the grizzly.
The grizzly is now unable to move efficiently and is heavily bleeding from its wound. The hippo then moves in for the final bite to the grizzly's throat — and it’s good night for our furry friend. The hippo wins a bloody battle.
Would a Grizzly Bear and Hippo ever fight?
It is highly unlikely that a grizzly bear and a hippo would ever fight in the wild. They don't share the same territory or even reside on the same continent. The only place these two are ever likely to cross paths is at a zoo or in the Fantasy Brawls battle area.
What makes Hippos so aggressive?
Hippos are the kings of the river and really don't have anything to fear other than other hippos. This has enabled some very bold behavior coupled with the fact being territorial increases the males chances to breed make this water monster one of the meanest animals alive.
What is more dangerous to humans — a hippo or a grizzly bear?
Hippos kill an estimated 500 to 3,000 people each year, while grizzly bear attacks result in just 1 to 3 deaths annually in North America. The reason for this disparity is twofold: 1. Hippos are basically sociopaths, while grizzlies are at least somewhat reasonable. 2. People in North America don’t encounter grizzlies nearly as often as people in Africa cross paths with hippos. Hippos often live in heavily traveled river areas used for fishing, transport, or water collection — so conflict is way more common.
On top of that, our brothers and sisters in sub-Saharan Africa often lack access to weapons and immediate, high-quality emergency care. In the U.S., if you survive a bear attack, odds are you'll make it thanks to antibiotics, trauma surgeons, and medevac helicopters. (Though the hospital bill might still finish you off.) In many hippo regions, however, even if you survive the initial attack, infection or lack of treatment can sadly still prove fatal.
Could a grizzly bear survive in Africa?
Nope! Its way too hot and the competition for food from pack hunters like lions is too fierce for the grizzly to survive. It would need to ignore its asocial ways and form a pack, shed fur and fat, and essentially become an entirely different animal to make it.
In this heavyweight bout, the mighty hippo walked away with the win. Grizzlies are tough, but not many animals can make it out alive after fighting a hippo. If you're a hippo fan or rooting for its downfall, check out Hippo vs Rhino.
And to play out the battle yourself, check out Fantasy Brawls the Online Game. There, you can choose your combatants and fight out any hypothetical battle you can think of. If you want to play against other people in PvP action, fight a much more challenging AI, and gain access to additional battle mechanics like poison, burn, and other debuffs, consider signing up for a free account.
Posted by: Matt Irving on 04/07/2025
